A BUNDLE OF JOY SHOULD BE A CHOICE

A BUNDLE OF JOY SHOULD BE A CHOICE

A baby will make

your heart grow fonder,

Your moods lighter

your nights longer

your body heavier

your smile happier

your clothes shabbier

your days shorter

your bankroll smaller

But everything's worth it

because a baby makes

your future brighter

That's what all hopeful couples are told. And having a baby is a huge responsibility — one that cannot be stressed enough. For many, raising and shaping a life becomes their whole purpose, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, especially when a couple is mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally prepared for it.

But more often than not, in India, it becomes less of a personal decision and more of a societal one. Getting married is the first obsession. Having kids follows close behind. For many families, carrying forward a name, passing down values, and continuing a lineage takes precedence over the individual goals of the people actually raising the child. Children undeniably fill a home with joy — the idea of raising someone from infancy to adulthood while building the most loving bond imaginable is a beautiful picture. But in my opinion, the choice to do this should belong solely to the couple living it.

Biologically, we are wired to procreate — to pass on our genes and bring the next generation into being. But as families grow smaller and more independent, priorities are shifting. For those brave enough to choose their own path despite the opinions around them, that life goal no longer has to take a back seat. This choice deserves respect and protection. There shouldn't be so much pressure around having children, especially for couples who don't yet feel ready. Parenthood, at its best, is a joyful act — but that joy is only possible when parents reach a level of maturity where they aren't, in some sense, still children themselves.

Raising a child is no small task. In India, children often end up becoming their parents' report card — proof of how well they've "performed." This is not only a burden for parents; it's just as exhausting for children, who grow up feeling they must constantly prove their worth to the world. When parents arrive at real maturity — when they've made peace with the noise of outside opinion — they're far better equipped to give their children the future they deserve.

Having said all this, babies ask for an enormous investment, but they also give life some of its deepest meaning. They are a blessing when they offer the kind of love many of us spend our lives searching for. Raising a child is no easy feat, but the realisation that you can shape a life with care, patience, and love is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have. You get to relive the silliness and wonder of childhood all over again. You get a chance to do differently what you wish had been done differently for you. People who grew up in stable, loving homes rarely fear having children of their own — they've already witnessed what that joy looks like, and the desire to recreate it comes naturally. That unconditional bond between parent and child is, in the end, one of the biggest reasons people choose this path at all.

But it remains exactly that — a choice. Not a milestone. Not an obligation. Not a family's unfinished business handed down to the next generation.

Let's respect it either way. Because at the end of the day, every one of us is simply trying to find peace — with children or without them.

-By Anushree Bhattacharya